I posted this to the BBS but because of the quality of the story I feel it should be preserved:
Btw, This is a true story. I wish it wasn't sometimes but every word of it's true.
TRUE STORY AHEAD
So, I used to have a business down at the transit center selling......stuff. It was totally legit, I swear(speaking of lying lairs :P).. Anyway, its important backstory that you know why I was willing to put up with this guy.
Freakshow's MySpace...proof that he's a real person. Also, he's my friend so...be nice.
THE BACK STORY
Anyway, we would spend 8 hours a day down there 5 days a week..it was like a 9 to 5 only it was more of an 8:30 to 4:30. These were our hours because that's when the HS kids down there and they were our primary source of income. It just so happened that we ran into Freakshow down there and if there's one thing Freak knows, its people. He had all kinds of connections here and there, he was everyone's friend, and he was just a cool guy in general. I wouldn't let him know where I live and I barely let him know my real name.
Down there because of the shiesty situation we were all in, we went by street names. Mine was Top Hat because I always wore a top hat. It was a collapsible Top Hat that I could take off and roll up and stash in a pocket if I was on the run and didn't want people to know me. Anyway, Freakshow was a good friend to have in a dangerous world.
He was a compulsive liar though, but not the kind I hate. I would hate anyone else telling these lies but he had the charisma to pull it off. Sure we ALL knew he was lying but we listened to his stories because...well to be honest: what the fuck else was there to do? We're sitting on stone steps 2 blocks away from a transit center for 40 hours a week, high as hell, staring at a lake and killing time behind a library.
THE STORY
Here's one of Freakshow's BEST stories of all time, and he agrees(why else did he tell it to us so many damn times in a row...with varying differences each time)..
"Did you guys hear about Halloween? Fuckin', last Halloween I was at this party at my buddy's house out in Estacada and fuckin'... I was high as hell, right? We smoked a one ounce blunt. I know! I was so blazed.. anyway I decided I was gonna take a bath so I climb into the tub and I'm havin's this bath but I keep seein shit outta the corner of my eye.. So I grabbed a fork and stabbed the thing I kept seeing. You know what it was? A fuckin power outlet! I got electrocuted and died! My friends walked in and they were like 'oh no!' and they called the ambulance, ambulance shows up and labels me DOA. You know what that means? Dead on Arrival. I was already dead when they showed up. So they put me in a fuckin body bag.. Thirteen hours later I wake up in a morgue in a refrigerator with a toe tag on. A FUCKING TOE TAG. I was dead for 13 hours!"
You think that's the end of his story? Not a Freakshow Original! This gets better.
"So I'm naked from being in the tub and being dead for 13 hours and I'm like "WTF I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!" so I bust outta the refrigerator butt ass naked and I just book it man. I mean I'm RUNNIN.
I finally get out of the morgue and I have to run through the hospital naked. All these doctors are lookin at me and I get outside and I'm not stoppin for anything. The fuckin' cops show up and they're chasing me. Now I have doctors, morgue technicians, and cops all chasing me down the street and I have no clothes on! So I run behind the library (((where we happen to be sitting...))) and I jump into the lake and hold my breath for a really long time while swimming underwater... I swam over to those apartments and got in the glass elevator! I could see the cops from over there but they couldn't see me cuz they were lookin in the lake so I started waving at them...fuckin pigs."
AFTER STORY
Freak and I are still friends, and anytime I see him out and about I say hi and ask how his wife and kid are doing. He usually feeds me a lie about his kid. 2 years ago his kid was 6 months old, now his kid just turned 9 months old.. I still won't give him my phone number or tell him where I live, but he never asks so it saves me the hassle of lying to him.
He's in college now and taking real classes, although he says he knows every single one of his teachers from somewhere else and that they all groan when he walks in the door and he yells "YEP, YOU GOTTA DEAL WITH ME NOW!"
He's always claimed to be resistant to pain, and oddly I believe this one. I've seen him break his fingers in front of us..and hold his finger in the fire for 30 seconds until it was bubbly and smelled like burning flesh, but he just stood there with a smile on his face.
Hell, this guy's such a character I feel like a liar just talking about him but may terrorists rip my fingernails off if I'm lying..
He used to charge people a dollar to do this trick.. I never gave him a dollar for it and he's always done it for free for me whenever I see him. I have also seen someone lick his eye while he does this trick. Its gross...but I can tolerate it after months of seeing him do it daily for change.
God Bless Freakshow. He's a good man, just really...fucked up.
Here's a picture from his myspace: Its his trick. You can make him do it for a dollar.
