Well well well
I knew the day would come that I'd start seeing Twilight spoofs turning up. Can't say I'm surprised but Edward isn't 300, he's just over 100. I liked the Voldemort reference about immortality being lame. I also liked how it began as the same as part 2 that you made. it gave it a sense of familiarity.
I don't think with the subject you chose that you could possibly get more than 7 stars outta me but hey, even a huge Twilight fan like me can admit that Bella's pretty on the stupid side and that Edward, despite his age, is very emotionally immature. This is due in part that this is his first real love and even a century cant tell someone how to behave when they're in love, but that just goes into the whole blah-blah-blah chick-flick nonsense which you don't like. I admit it made me a little wary when reading the books but the last 2 were pretty sweet.
If you hated the first two movies just stick around for the 3rd and 4th, there's less love triangles and more fighting and action :)
Decent flash, better than anything I can do. Don't stop makin fun of Twilight, the world needs it. We need to see how stupid it can be :D